Snowflake Fail

My twins had a final winter art project. They had to make an origami snowflake. They were having a difficult time with the complicated snowflake design. They knew, as a former art teacher and an art enthusiast, I would be willing to assist in their intricate cutting design. In my classroom days, I would have hundreds of snowflake and gingerbread cutouts during the holiday season. My classroom became winter wonderland, Christmas music included in the background. So today, my daughter wanted me to show her how to make an Elsa Frozen type snowflake design. I was stoked! Then it had me thinking. Why is my home not covered in snowflakes? I have allowed the 75-90 degree Florida winter weather dissolve my winter wonderland dream. How did I allow this to happen to my Christmas?

So now, I am sitting at the dining room table cutting away at this Elsa Frozen inspired snowflake design. I opened the snowflake...and it is suppose to be linked...and it is suppose to be shaped...and it is suppose to be in one long thread design. WTF? I had a pile of loose semi snowflake design. I tried it again. Same results. I tried it again. Same results. I did not feel confused. I felt like all the directions were completed properly but apparently ended in undesired results. Can someone explain this to me? WTF is happening? I started to cry. I mean, I did not feel confused but it was wrong somehow. I was an art student. I was an art teacher. I am an art enthusiast. I decorated my art room in a winter wonderland every year. That was who I was. Then I was required to take a medical retirement after my last winter wonderland.

So why am I crying? It has been five years since I decorated a winter wonderland classroom. So why am I crying now about it? Is it rational? No. Is it emotionally valid? Yes. Mental and physical limitation due to illness feels like a true, horrible loss. Emotions comes in waves and valleys. How long does it take to accept oneself? To accept does not mean defeat.

Lupies, Here I am.