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Mental Break or Break Down

Updated: Mar 1, 2021

I ended up in a three day hibernation. It was courtesy of the stress that have been invaded my body, environment and my mind. I could not manage. I was not functioning. I was not moving upwards. I just stopped moving. The first day, I curled up in a ball, cried and slept. The second day, I curled up in a ball, cried some more and slept. The third day, I curled up in a ball, cried and slept.

I did get up and to take a shower. I walked to the shower with my shoulders hunched as tears rolled down my eyes. I really did not think it was possible to cry so much. When I thought my eye ducts were dried out...a heart wrenching sob came out and I cried some more.

I needed to shower because come on...My parents bought me a Flash Furniture HERCULES Series Tool-Free and Quick Assembly, 300 Lb. Capacity, Adjustable Navy Bath & Shower Chair with Non-slip Feet. When I told my mom that my husband, Richard had to physically wash me on one of my fantastic flare-ups. This hideous but much needed shower chair showed up at my doorstep.

Throughout my blog, I will discuss various gadgets and medications that I use to assist me in my physical movements but I am not promoting anything. Everyone is different in their medical needs.

Hence, I was inspired to begin writing this blog out of necessity. I am not ok right now. I don't know if I am ever really ok. I know some days I almost jump out of bed...It looks and feels more like a leg slide. I push my leg out and slide, push and slide. I think most of the work is being done by the comforter because it always manages to be on the floor by the time I jump out of bed. I know in my very existence if I don't verbalize my feelings and try to reach out to other Lupies. I will continue to be in this form of hibernation. Hibernation in the sense of sleep and walking through my life sleepwalking...see what I did there??

I have Lupus. Full disclosure, I have Fibromyalgia, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Sjogren's and Raynaurd's. I have hypothyroidism. I have developed depression and anxiety. I have a full bag. I know other fellow Lupies have full bags. I would like to inspire, if if that is just way to much to ask at this moment how about just a good uggggaaaaa!!!!!! Lean your head back and just take a deep breathe.

We all have things but not everyone's things are out there....shine a light on us Lupies because we may not look sick but hot damn....I feel like a big pile of....uggggaaaa!!!! Lean your head back and just take a deep breathe.

Thank you.

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