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The most trying thing of any autoimmune disease is the constant. Everyday there is...some burning, vibrations, stiffness, tingling, pain, exhaustion, numbness, nausea, diarrhea, rashes. It is certainly a challenge. I can't really advise how to deal with everything because frankly, I am tired. The weather is damp and raining today in usually sunny Florida. I awoke with major stiffness, burning in my hands/feet and a painful rash. Any environmental stress can cause a flare-up. I have to acknowledge what I am physically feeling. I have to take an assessment so my mental state doesn't spiral out of control. I cried after I admitted my truth to my husband. However, my admission comes after I finished breakfast for my twins and took a shower. It becomes too real once I say the words. I won't be able to remain in denial, which is not advised. I am in pain. I am not ok. Admitting my physical vulnerability is not a weakness. It just is a moment. My day will now consist of sitting in bed, reading, smoking my cannabis and watching tv on fast forward. It is amazing how so much of a movie is a facial look, scenery, so much foreboding....I don't have the patience for all that so I can get through a two hour movie in an hour. I just skip to dialogue, it allows me to get the gist...it drives everyone in my family nutty when I do that so the remote gets swiftly taken away from my twitchy hands. Lupies, however you spend your Sunday...enjoy the day. It may not be the day you had planned, expected or wanted...be patient, be kind and smile after a cry. You are not alone.

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